Two months ago I set off from Spain heading north, with no real goals other than “hit as many countries as you can and do a good job at your day job”, with my shit kit, before my bike fell apart. Since then I’ve changed my route a few times, lost loads of stuff, broken many things, and figured it would be fun to put together some numbers.

  • Distance: 4,014 km (2,494 mi)
  • Elevation: 37,755 (23.5 mi)
  • Time: 174 hours 30 minutes (0.14 dog years)
  • Countries: 9
  • Crashes: 1 (More)
  • Rest Days: 10
  • Vacation Days: 2
  • Personal Days: 1
  • Max Croissants Per Day: 7
  • Friends Sofas: 3
  • Friend Visits: 2
  • Police Warnings: 2
  • Broken Spokes: 2
  • Lost Spare Spokes: 1
  • Not Cycled: 100km (1 train, aaaand…)
  • Hitchhikes: 2
  • Flat Tyres: 7
  • Cries: 2
  • New Tyres: 4 (More)
  • Tyre Plugs: 2
  • New Chains: 1
  • New Cleats: 5
  • Hub Bearing Replacements: 1
  • Tools Bartered at Bike Shops: 3
  • Zipties: 11
  • Bandages: 3
  • iPhone Screen Protector Replacements: 3
  • Flea Infestations: 1
  • Ant Attacks: 2
  • Ants Consumed: 3

Losing Shit

My WHOLE WALLET: A few days prior to actually getting started I lost my whole damn wallet, riding the bike back from Madrid to Calpe. It was before I got my bags setup good, and I had a water bottle in the same jersey pocket as some cards. I think they got stuck on moisture and jumped out.

Luckily had a card on Apple Pay. Tried a few hotels until they took it, and bought a train ticket online. Props to Monzo for rushing me that replacement debit card!

Washbag: Left my whole wash bag, with my clippers (hence the crazy beard), painkillers, asthma thing, all sorts of stuff. Very much lighter now but when I’m mushing it up a giant hill I really miss my “sports educed asthma fixer”.


Left Shoe: After a very bad day of bike trouble, I lost my running shoe which was in a side pocket on my pannier. Got some replacement hiking shoes on the cheap (I am not going to go for a jog on a rest day but I’d love a stroll about). Now they live in my backpack which is bungee corded to the rack.

Apple Macbook Charger: Checking out of Monaco hotel I pulled the charger out of the wall and knocked over a coffee, rushing as I was waaaaay past checkout. I think I just left it there, but luckily the USB-C Macbooks can charge off of pretty much anything, including my “Fast Charge” (USB-PB) power thing. It’s 14w instead of 60w so shit takes a while, but it works.

My “Fast Charge” power thing: Lost that too. Got another one, for more money than the original. 👍

Toothpaste: Had two furry feeling days before I found more. A lot of hotels have tiiiiiny little two-squirt packs so now one of those lives in my frame bag as a backup.

Skewer Nut: I changed my cassette and lost the skewer nut off the back. I traded for the front nut and ziptied the bastard on. It’s the most scared I’ve been in years.



It’s going great folks! Currently in East Europe in Czech, and I’m about to go on a rampage ticking off as many countries as possible. Camping equipment is gonna meet me in Prague, with a tarp and bivvy from Alp Kit. Might talk about that next.